The Blame Game

We all love playing this game.

It consists of trying to find something or someone external to ourselves to be responsible for things not being the way we expected.

I’m not happy because of what you said or did. Or because of what the government did. Or because of the weather. Or because of whatever crosses our mind.

Any thought to which I can cling that will give me some relief is perfect for the game.

If I stick to the thought, I can transfer my pain from me to you or it.

It will take the discomfort away from me and will put it onto you.

As if I could throw it away from me. As if it were an “arrow of discomfort” that we could shoot. Yes, we’re archers of discomfort, continually trying to find targets for our arrows.

My discomfort was inside of me and now it’s on you, guilty bastard!

I didn’t want to feel it anymore, so now the discomfort is where it should be, with you!

But wait!

Is my discomfort really displaced? Am I truly at peace?

If I check in on how I feel now, I feel angry. And that’s not comfortable either.

My anger is focused on you, but I’m the one feeling it. I’m actually not focused on you but on my thoughts about you and how mean you are.

I’m focused on MY thoughts about you and I’m feeling anger INSIDE of me.

So is everything inside of me? Am I not shooting arrows after all?

The result of this game is that maybe both of us feel uncomfortable. Or, best-case scenario, I’m the only one feeling the discomfort because either you didn’t know I was shooting arrows at you or you knew they are only imaginary arrows and thus cannot touch you.

In any case, now that I realize how this game works, it’s not as fun as I thought it was. I don’t want to play it anymore.