Every day, I’ve become more and more aware of how these things we call ourselves stand in the way of what we really want.
You can call it your “ego” or “identity”; it doesn’t matter what word you use to describe the beliefs you have about who you are. The fact is that this “identity” often stands in your way, right between your present situation and what you want.
Yesterday, I met a coach who is afraid of asking for money for her services. The reason she gave was that she didn’t want people to think she’s needy. That is, the set of beliefs she has about herself (“I”) stops her from asking the fees she wants to receive for her services.
I have clients who want a good relationship with their partners, but their ego often makes them feel upset or frustrated, causing them to forget about the relationship (i.e., what they really want).
There are times when I stop myself from doing the things that I want to do because I start thinking about what others are going to think about me, how they’re going to perceive me. In cases like this, my focus is on “me” and not about what I want to do.
Generally speaking, when you feel embarrassed, frustrated, angry, sad, or afraid, you’re putting the focus on yourself instead of what you want.
Wouldn’t it be better if we refocused on what we want and forgot about ourselves? Let’s focus on the relationship, our partner, our client, or the task we want to accomplish!
Instead of taking care of the concept of ourselves we have nurtured over the years, we must focus on the actions we want to put out into the world. We must become pure action.