There’s no such thing as a personality. It’s just a concept, a word. And, as with every word and every concept, it can be useful in certain circumstances. But it’s not a real thing, so don’t take it so seriously.
We humans love to classify everything. Our brain needs it. We need to put every single thing we perceive into categories, to find similarities among them and box them up.
And so we have the categories of animate and inanimate objects, mammals, birds, insects, planets, stars, fruits, etc.
It’s a great system by which to navigate the world around us, and it has helped us survive as a species and dominate the planet.
But these classifications are based on how our brains work and not how life actually works.
We forget about this distinction all the time.
One day, someone decided that humans (and some other species) have personalities. That is, a set of distinctive traits and characteristics. And we believed it.
We believe we have a personality the same way we believe that we have arms and legs. And just as with our arms and legs, we believe that it’s impossible to change that personality.
No, personality is not a thing. It’s just a convention, a way to try to classify the unique expression of who we are. You’re unique. You’re a whole. There are no parts in you.
You’re neither shy, nor introverted, extrovert, smart, indecisive, or anything like that. You just are.
You don’t have a personality. You just have patterns of thoughts. That is, you’re used to thinking in a certain way. It’s just a habit.
This is how it works:
1) A thought shows up in your head
2) You decide whether you believe it or not (whether you will stick to it or not)
3) If you do, that thought and similar ones will show up more often in your mind. If you don’t, the thought will show up less and less often until it vanishes
So, it’s not who you are. It’s what kind of thoughts you’ve reinforced again and again.
Do you want to change your “personality”? Then play with your habitual thoughts.
Create the thoughts you want and believe them.
Ignore the thoughts you don’t want or just don’t believe them.
As with any other habits, it can be challenging to modify your thoughts because we’re so used to them. But it’s possible!